FU Yummy

Woke up, got out of bed, had a smoke and ate some lead... I've been trying out this new breakfast product called Fossil Flakes - they're preposterously delicious. As a side benefit they cause weight loss. How awesome is that? This is ironic but as I was sucking down my Flakes I came across this quote in Coal Digest...

"Since the mid-1990s, the coal industry has used mountaintop removal mining to extract coal - destroying more than one million acres of Appalachian forest and burying nearly 2,000 miles of streams."

America... FUCK yeah... As if things couldn't get any better I noticed the Fossil Flakes box had a whole story on the back. Gripping stuff...

At FU Industries we strive to be environmental stewards. We're proud to say that when it comes to packaging our materials we don't stop at 100% preused materials... Our clientists have found that our packaging actually comes from 8353% preused materials - oops... 8354%.

Our environmental leadership doesn't stop there... At FU Industries we not only make our packaging out of pre-used materials - we make everything inside out of pre-used materials as well. At FU Industries we live by the 10 to 1 promise... We guarantee that 10 calories of fossil fuels were used to process every calorie that goes into your mouth. We think you can taste the difference. As a bonus... each bite is guaranteed to have trace amounts of real fly ash residues. Folks around here like to say... Mmm Mmm Mmm... FU Yummy...